Privatedetective

"- it means you don't know what you feel.
- i know how i feel.
- do you know what the name of your feeling is?
- yes.
- what is it?
- bad.
- i was thinking you could be more specific. like... disappointment, or, regret, or anger.
- ...
- ...
- nope.
- that's what i mean. you can't communicate to me what you're feeling.
- actually, i can. i can. i have this blog on the internet, where i pretty much spend all my time telling strangers who do or don't care about my feelings. i kinda feel crap about myself for it too.
- that's probably describing your feelings. is that what you're doing?
- yes.
- describe them now.
- ...
- ...
- it's a hallway. very plain. i walk to the end, i can only turn right. walk to the end, turn right again. and again. then i'm where i started.
- is that a feeling?
- yes.
- what's it's name?
- Gerald.
- very funny.
- i'm giggling.
- i can see that.
- but what is this feeling?
- i don't know. it's a kind of stifling no-air where the why the f&ck am i still here i thought we're done with this and no we're not we're stuck on the merry-go-round don't wanna be here i hate my tshirt why didn't i shave today what's the point of reading that saying hello goddammit i don't have any money left kinda feeling.
- name?
- Claudius.
- he was the good one right?
- yes.
- who was the bad-
- Nero.
- right right.
- you feel bad. you can't understand what the feeling is, so you can't fix it. half the time, i doubt you're depressed at all. i think you're maybe stressed, or disappointed, or regretful, or ashamed, and you don't know which. and because you don't know which, you don't know what to do about it. or know if it's a 'normal' bad-feeling. so it just stays.
- yes, but it's stagnant. it's rot. it smells. i can smell it. i can smell my own skin's unhappiness. everywhere i look i find hair and particles of skin. it's overpowering me.
- well, you need to be able to communicate with the feeling. you need it to introduce itself to you."